We Need to Change the Narrative around Credit Card Debt

I have a dirty little secret. As much as I talk about being financially savvy, I’m in some pretty hot water when it comes to credit card debt. Not so hot that I can’t claw my way out of it, but enough that it’s stressful, and I feel like a money fraud most days. Welcome to the internalized shame of being financially savvy, but still human. I do not recommend it.

Currently, I’m sitting at a pretty $6,000 in credit card debt. Before you jump to conclusions, it’s not because I was partying or racking up debt on my vacations. It’s much more nefarious than that. When you work in the service industry, making ends meet is tough, and when you have any sort of emergency 

Marriage Debt: $1,000

When my husband and I split, it was easier for me to take on all of our credit card debt and pay it off than to try and do the slow split of figuring out who owes what and whatnot. We didn’t have a lot, maybe $2,000 between moving expenses and getting set up in a new space, and between the two of us, we had plans to pay it off in a few months. 

But when we split, I didn’t even bother trying to split that evenly. I just absorbed the debt in order to leave as peacefully as possible. Was that the financially responsible choice? Perhaps not. 

But did it grant me peace of mind that I could leave a relationship that was serving no one very well? Absolutely.

Even working in the service industry, last year I was able to reduce the amount to $1,000. And I’m still slowly working away at it. The process has been sped up by a new job, but it’s not something that I can eradicate overnight. 

But when it’s paid off, we are celebrating. 

Vet Bills: $2,800

I have two cats and a dog. And both cats have been to the ER this year. The first two visits, I paid for in cash. And it was fine, but my emergency fund was looking a little rough. 

However, when my beloved Pratchett was attacked by a coyote, my funds were a little tighter. And credit cards were the way I cared for him. Was it the best solution? No, but it was the only one I had access to since our local animal ER doesn’t offer payment plans (yes, I asked). 

Ultimately, no money in the world can save a cat from infection, and he’s currently in my freezer until I can afford to cremate him. Thankfully, my family’s a good sport, and cat-freezer jokes are thrown around with enough regularity that the harshness of the situation is a little lighter. 

But overnight, I was thrown into massive (to me) credit card debt. Because when you care for an animal, your responsibility is to give him the best life possible, even until the bitter end.

Dental Work: $1,700

Earlier this year, again, when I was still a service worker, I needed some dental work done. I knew I needed to leave my job soon, but wasn’t sure where my next job would be – so I took advantage of my dental insurance and had work done, even though it meant opening a CareNow card. 

Thankfully, this debt is interest-free for 18 months and I’m treating it like a phone bill. But it still counts, even on a technicality. Because if I don’t pay it off, the consequences are not ideal. 

Steps to Pay it Off

Having a couple thousand in debt, as I did with the marriage debt and my dental work, wasn’t stressful. But when my debt burden doubled overnight thanks to a very sick kitty, I took a hard look at what it’s going to take to pay everything off. 

And it’s a lot. 

First, I decreased my retirement contributions to only get the match, which is 6 percent at my current company and 3 percent at Starbucks, where I am working for a few more weeks. I could continue to work at Starbucks longer, and get an extra $300-400/month… But I actually want to live an enjoyable life, and working two jobs is not that. 

Second, I’m still taking advantage of the ESPP at both companies, but not at the 15 percent max they offer. Instead, I’ll be reducing this to 5 percent this quarter, and increasing it after my debt burden is decreased. The money that I would have set aside for this is going into my loans. 

Third, and this one is the kicker. I actually need to set up a budget. I normally live my life by making sure all my bills are in a basket, and then doing whatever I want with the rest. And when I don’t have a lot of expenses, that’s a system that works for me. However, I want to eventually be debt-free, so being a bit more careful with my money is going to be necessary. 

Trying to Live Life while In Debt

The weight of this debt is compounded by the fact that this year, to celebrate my new job and give myself hope, I bought an RV. It’s a 1978 Winnebago Itasca and it needs a lot of work. I’m slowly working on this project, and while it’s a pain, I’m thoroughly enjoying it. 

I have a post forthcoming about the project, what I’ve done, what I’ve spent, and the estimate of what I still need to spend. But in short, it hasn’t been a cheap endeavor. A fulfilling one, but not a cheap one. 

And it’s hard to enjoy progress in my life while also understanding that a wide section of the Personal Finance community would consider this to be somehow a moral failing. That I didn’t do it all completely debt-free. 

Living Debt Free and Working in the Service Industry 

But let’s talk about what that actually looks like. Last year, I made $15k as a barista. I lived at home but still paid an (albeit small) rent. I paid my student loans. I covered all of my other bills – car insurance, renter’s insurance, gas, food, phone. I slowly saved money. A whopping $75 a paycheck. Any fun things I wanted to do, I used tip money for. And I was on the verge of breaking even most months. 

But I had several money emergencies that depleted my savings – including several car repairs that were $1000 each. Bless my pets, they weren’t cheap last year either. And then at the beginning of this year, we endured the Snowpocalypse. 

When we judge humans for their inability to save enough to live completely debt-free while not also taking into account that their jobs literally do not pay a living wage, the moral failing is not on the person who has found themselves in debt, but on the person judging the debt. 

Do I want to be debt-free? Absolutely. 

But did I fail morally because I accrued debt? Not necessarily. 

Changing the Conversation Around Debt 

It’s important, as we approach topics such as credit card debt and medical debt that we don’t approach it with a mentality that harms your audience. We must cultivate an attitude of compassion and understanding. 

For many people, credit card debt is not accrued because of frivolous purchases, but because they were faced with a choice between a rock and a hard place. And, to put it quite frankly, debt was the only solution. 

But without acknowledging this in the larger conversation around credit card debt, we’re cultivating an attitude of shame and disparity and locking lower-income communities out of the conversation surrounding debt, debt repayment, and debt freedom. Because to speak of debt is to speak of shame. And many people live their lives on the margins between debt and disaster. Especially people in marginalized communities. 

If we want to create a community that actually helps people in the margins, we must first recognize where they live. 

And right now, as a community, we are failing. 

What Can We Do to be More Inclusive?

Talk openly about our own debt. It’s not the answer, but it is a start. We need to speak life into the good, the bad, the ugly. Creating a space to talk openly about debt, without justifying it or talking about it sheepishly. Debt is simply an amoral tool that many use to maintain sanity. We need to treat it as such. 

For example, I have $6,000 in consumer and medical debt that I accrued in less than a year. That statement just is. 

We need to stop offering unsolicited judgment in the form of well-meaning advice for those in debt and instead offer empathy. Instead of telling them to pick up a second job or to Uber on weekends to pay it off quickly, we need to listen to their stories and acknowledge the trauma of living on the fringe. I work a second job. And on my 14 hour days, I get a migraine around 4 pm and still have to complete 4 more hours of my shift. It’s miserable. It’s not the solution to my debt problem. 

Suggesting these things is not helpful. Most people in debt have probably thought about them already and decided that the second job is not worth the emotional and physical toll. It’s not actually helping anyone to act like you’re morally superior and know their solution. 

Also, we need to be more actively giving back to our community. People on the fringe go into debt because they have no other choice. As those with means, we need to be actively seeking out ways to help others in our community – locally and globally – who need a little assistance to help keep them afloat. 

As a tool of benevolence, the stage of personal finance has done astounding things. I raised over $5,000 for my community when Snowpolypse devastated us. When an author in our space asked for assistance to help launch her book, we came together and made it happen. When someone in our space needed medical bills paid, we gave back. 

Together, we can achieve greatness. But that starts with the destigmatizing of debt and low-income living. 

There is no shame in being poor. There is no shame in living in debt. 

There is shame in chastising those who do.

I know there is a way forward in the personal finance community that chases after kindness and benevolence. But we’re not there yet. And we need to do better.